a letter to my future self

Dated February 10th, 2017:

Dear joshua,

I’m sure you have plenty to tell me, but it will have to wait.

You’re at an advantage. You’ll read this letter someday. I recently finished a letter to myself as I was before. He won’t get to read the words I sent him. At least, not for a long time. By then, he’ll be the one writing them as he reads. You, however, will read these words. You may even remember writing them, because yes, it was you who composed them once upon a time.

I’m writing from a scary place. Maybe you remember. The future seems dark. It’s hard to hope for the world as it is. I can only see so far from where I’m sitting. Your vision affords you hindsight I don’t have. I’m willing to bet there are hardships ahead and you want to warn me. But, if the future is anything like the past, and I’m sure to some extent it is, I imagine there have been blessings too, tiny as they may seem.

I’m fighting, or at least I’m trying to do so. I’m fighting for you, so you’ll get to read this letter one day. But I’m fighting for what we’ll make too. What I will make and what you have made and the world we get to create together.

All I can ask of you is that continue you to fight. Stay true to who you are. I have goals and I hope you’ve done me the service of seeing them through. I know life is fluid. Nothing is certain. Everything changes. But please, stay the course. Take what you’ve learned and use it. Keep your head straight and your eyes up. You’ve always been delusional in the best way possible and I hope you remain so. Stay crazy. Stay awake. Keep creating.

Regardless of what has happened, I want you to know I’m proud of you. I pray this letter finds you. If and when it does, write to yourself down the line, just as I do now. Keep writing. Keep going.

Being alive is the bravest thing to be. You know this and so do I.

Stay awake. Stay alive. I’ll see you when I get there.

peace and understanding,