Almost seven years ago, I wrote a letter to my past self.
This is what it said:
dear josh,
What to tell you? You don’t know shit, but you’re learning.
I remember the time you’re going through well. In many ways, it will shape the rest of your life. It’s amazing how pain remembered is pleasurable. You may not believe it, but you’ll look back fondly on where you are in life simply because it will make you who you are.
You aren’t done yet though, not by a long shot. There’s more joy to be had, more pain to endure, more people to love. Things will be hard. You’ll want to bail out. You’ll want to quit in the most spectacular of fashions—ending your own life. I urge you not to commit to this. By all means, go to the edge, for that’s where the view of your life is the most grand, but don’t jump. Stop and see. Look at the beauty that surrounds you. Look to the people you love. They will carry you and the only cost is, when the time comes, you must carry them in return. This is what it means to be with other people.
Learn to love yourself. Don’t look to others for the adoration you seek. It lives inside you, even if you can’t feel it. Loving yourself will only aid in loving those around you. There will be moments where you will depend too heavily on how another sees you. They will disappear, taking with them your foundation. You’ll be angry. You’ll lash out. You’ll hurt people. Sometimes you can’t help it. Other times, it’s uncalled for. Never seek to do harm intentionally. It will only backfire, I promise you.
The life you lead will be miraculous. You’ll go wondrous places and do remarkable things. Some you already know about (they’re coming soon and you’re preparing accordingly). Others you can scarcely imagine. You’ll perform miracles. They’ll seem small, but most miracles are.
You’ll find yourself alone at times, but knowing yourself is key. You’re the most fascinating person you’ll meet along the way. You’ll know yourself better than anyone else. Remember this.
And there will be family, even in the most unlikely places. You’ll see it take many forms: teenage church misfits, the suburban punk scene, the thespians in classrooms, the staff of summertime superheroes, the street artists of a Nocturnal Generation you’ll help create, the bookkeepers clinging to their degrees, the apprentices to the masters. No matter when or where, the people around you will teach you innumerable things. They will come to define you. They’ll teach you how to live.
There’s so much I wish I could tell you, some of it tragic, most of it wonderful. But more than anything, I don’t want to spoil any of it for you. You’ll be fine. You’ll make art.
Remember that nothing is certain. Nothing is absolute. Know I made it this far and you will too. I’ll see you when you get here.
peace and understanding,
josh
And now for something completely different: on the same day, I wrote a letter to my future self, containing some adjacent wisdom.
joshua chamberlain 